Diabetes...

Sometimes I feel like I don't fit in with the diabetic community.  Mainly the type 1's because they make up the majority of my diabetic friends.  I don't really know what the cause is but when I read some of they stuff they are either excited about or frustrated with I just don't understand it.  I just want to confront the two main things I don't understand.  I would love some insight and I'm not judging, like I said, I just don't fit in.

The first thing is the anger people have about having diabetes.  Do I enjoy being hooked up to an insulin pump?  Of course not.  Did I enjoy the years of MDI's (multiple daily injections)?  Absolutely not.  Do I enjoy the constant doctor's visits, the weight gain that came with the insulin, the fact that every single bit of what would be our disposable income goes to medicine/medical supplies?  Who would?  I mean, yes, it is a disease and it's not fun to deal with.  I see people who are carefree and get to do whatever the want without thinking, "do I have enough insulin?" or "what's this going to cause my blood sugar to do?"  And yes, there is a twinge of jealousy, but that's all.  I'm not angry that I have this disease.  I'm thankful I wasn't living 100 years ago when the only option would be to eat no carbs and hope for the best.  I just deal with it and get over it.  I'm as healthy as my body will let me be.  I don't have a fatal illness and I'm living, so what could be better?  It's not like I have anyone to blame, so why be angry with something I can't take my anger out on or deal with and move on. 

The second thing is the whole "diabulima" illness that some have along with diabetes.  I was diagnosed as a teenager.  I was 14, never skinny, my lowest weight after being sick for about a year was 122 and I wore a size 7.  Yet I never even considered not taking my insulin in order to lose weight.  Immediately after starting insulin I gained 20lbs.  What 14 year old wants to weigh 140 when you're surrounded by skinny teenage girls who mostly judge or pick on you for being heavier?  I certainly didn't.  I always took my insulin and still do, even after having two children and weighing something that certainly pushes me towards being unhappy.  I just don't know why people would rather be sick and skinny than a little overweight or even normal weight and healthy. 


Right now I am terribly excited that I am in the process of upgrading my insulin pump from the minimed 722 to the animas ping.  So I do get excited about some of the technological aspects of diabetes.  But other than that I guess I control my diabetes and I don't let it control me.  If I did I wouldn't have my two handsome baby boys.  I was told I wouldn't be able to have children and in 2008 I had Cole and then 2009, Jamison was born.  Clearly doctors can be wrong. 

I guess this blog is more to let out my frustrations and enjoyment that I get through life.  I don't know that anyone will really read it.  I'm sure it will be a mixture of diabetes, children and savings related posts.  After-all I am a stay at home mom and those are pretty much the things my life revolves around, other than my husband.  I'm sure I'll post about him, too.